Sunday, December 22, 2013

7. Pushing On... & What?

Safaree Samuels
Hospital , Belair , St. Maarten
6:45 P.M., Friday

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I’m in this hospital room for the third day this week. I went to see Gabriella with Nicki. Nicki refuses to leave that little girl’s side. Some of Gabby’s family came to visit her and brought chocolate and card’s. Both of her grandmother’s spoke to her via Skype. You could tell that she was in a lot of pain. The doctor’s said it would take a while before she might regain feeling in her legs. Might. When Nic heard this, it had her in tears. She had this like feeling towards Gabby and I couldn’t quite understand it.  Gabby was still abit cautious around me and Nic. It was as if she were scared that we would hurt her. I guess it’ll take time.

Nicki and I were barely able to get any sleep. I sleep in the same bed as her because she refuses to sleep alone. And then all she does is trace circles on my tattoo of her on my chest and sometimes hum. I’ve never seen her like this. She doesn’t answer her phone anymore and doesn’t check up on anything. I do it all for her. I love Nic, but I wonder what she’s up to.

It’s like she heard me say her name, because right then she walked with a foam cup filled with something warm.

“Faree?” she said softly. She looked abit worried.

“Yes Nic?”

“Am I a good person?”

“Yes, you are.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s one of the many things that attracted me to you.” I said with a small smile which caused her to smile too. That lasted a couple seconds before her smile suddenly faded and a small frown replaced it. Her eyes were brimming with tears. Oh man, I hate to see her cry.

“Faree, what if she never walks again?” she asks just as the first tear rolls down her cheek. I sighed and opened my arms so that she could walk into my embrace. She did that and sniffled softly into my chest.

“Shhhh Nika. Have faith and she will.” I said as I made tiny circles with my fingers on her upper back. It soothed her abit. Her breath was abit hitched because of the tears.  We both looked over at Gabriella, who was peacefully sleeping. The position she was in looked abit uncomfortable. Her doctor says that we might be able to take her next Monday, but she would have to go to therapy.

I went back to the hotel. I wanted to get some real sleep. I know it would be hard without Nicki by my side, but I really need it.

Gabriella Richardson
Hospital , Belair , St. Maarten
7:30 P.M., Friday

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Ugh, I hate this. I want to get up and move around. I want to go shopping with Zaire. I wanna just get out of this place. I still can’t believe that ‘the’ Nicki Minaj is in my room every day.  Lord knows, I adore this queen right in front of me, but I’m still scared. What if she’s just like my parents? I wouldn’t want to go through that again. I don’t want her to feel bad.

I heard everything she said to Safaree. It hurt me abit. I was fighting not to burst into tears with them in the room. God, I hate this. I want to jump up and hug her and tell her that everything will be okay. Her sobs hurt me harder. I hate to see others crying, especially when I’m the reason. It makes me feel guilty.
Later that night I woke up in cold sweat. I was having a nightmare.  My father was coming towards me with one of his thickest leather belts. He had it raised at me.

“You’re gonna pay for all the problems you caused, you worthless thing!” He yelled and was about to hit me, when I woke up.

I sobbed once and then again and again. I couldn’t stop crying. It hurt too much. Moving hurt. My legs were hurting as well. I put my face into my palms and cried. It wasn’t long before I felt a pair of arms wrap around me.

“Don’t worry baby, mommy’s here.” A soft voice said to me. It was dark so I couldn’t see the face. I immediately thought it was my mother, so I screamed and started throwing my arms around.  I tried kicking as well, but it hurt abit too much. I felt my nails hit flesh just as the person’s arms wrapped tighter around me as in to stop me. The person yelped in pain. “Gabby, it’s me Nicki.” She then said.

I calmed down abit and started to cry again. Nicki searched in the dark for the switch of my bedside lamp. When she finally got it, there was a soft glow in the room. Nicki was holding her right cheek. I saw blood seeping in between her fingers. I then looked at my nails. I saw her flesh in them.

“Nicki, I’m so sorry. I said before covering my mouth with my palms. She just hugged me while searching for a rag or so to try to stop the bleeding. When she didn’t see anything, she gently got up and went into the bathroom. I sighed. I just messed up her perfect face. She’s gonna be so upset with me. There you go again Gabby, always ruining it for others. I looked over at Nicki. She sighed and washed her face, before rubbing ointment onto her face to stop the swelling. I could clearly see she was upset. I quickly turned away. The tears were forming already.

“Babe, don’t cry.” She said to me from the bathroom.

I remained silent and sniffled. I heard her sigh before getting into bed with me. I scooted over to give her space.

“I’m so sorry mo-Nicki.” I said into her chest as she held me. She just squeezed me abit to say it was okay.
“That’s okay baby, now try to get some sleep.” She said before kissing my forehead. I tried to get comfortable, but it was hard due to my legs. I could feel them alittle but it hurt so I just didn’t move them. Nicki started to hum ‘all of me’ and I felt my eyelids get heavy.

~Following day~

Nicki Minaj
Hospital , Belair , St. Maarten
7:45 A.M., Saturday

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I woke up to Gabby staring ahead and humming. She sounded nice, I must admit. As soon as I turned my head abit to get a better look at her, she stopped and looked over at me.

“Good morning mo-“ she shook her head “Nicki, good morning Nicki.”

“Good morning babe, how did you sleep?”

“I slept alittle better and you?” she said to me with a small smile.

“I slept okay baby.” I said and stroked her cheek. She stiffened abit before relaxing. I guess she thought I was gonna hit her. “It’s okay darling, I’m not gonna hurt you. I love you too much to do that.” I said and hugged her. She hugged back.

“I love you too mom.” She said before bursting into tears. I swear she has to have been hurt terribly for her to be crying so much. “Sorry, I think my period’s gonna start soon or something. I’m always extra emotional when it’s near.”

“Oh, well okay.” I say and get up to brush my teeth and do my hygiene’s. I was half way through when I heard a thud and a yelp. I quickly rush to Gabby, who was now on the floor, tears falling once more. I helped her up, so that she was sitting on the bed.

“I’m sorry, I just really wanted to get up and check if it, you know, came.” She said with her head bowed in shame. I sighed. I couldn’t be mad with her. I gave her a small smile.

“I know, my little fighter.” I said and tickled her. She laughed though her tears. She started to squirm around and kicking up her legs. It worked abit and she stopped laughing. Her laughter was replaced with a painful gasp. I just looked at her abit shocked before happily yelling out “Gabby, your legs. Their moving!” She shared my excitement with a small smile.

“Yeah, I know. I kept trying from sinds last night.” She said. I hugged her and kissed her cheek.
Safaree walks in together with the nurse. She checks up on Gabby and then gives her her breakfast along with some medication. As Gabby and the nurse were talking, I couldn’t help but stare at Gabby. Her smile was genuine and bright. Her eyes even lit up with it. It was the most beautiful sight. I think Safaree saw it too, because he came and side hugged me before pecking me on the lips. That reminded me of what I put a pause to. I pulled him closer to me before kissing him with so much passion. I think it surprised him, because it took him a second before he kissed back.

“I love you Faree.”

“I love you more Nic.”

Zaire Healy
Home, Mary Fancy, St. Maarten
5:45 P.M., Saturday

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I was going to see Gabby today, but something came up. My nose was bleeding and when I coughed, I coughed up blood as well. I also noticed that sometimes when Kevin would hold me, the print would turn blue, and they didn’t even hurt. When I got home, and showed my parents, they were abit upset that I had a boyfriend and though first that he hit me or so. We were in the middle of an argument when I had a coughing fit. I coughed up blood this time as well. My stomach hurt so bad that I passed out.

What was wrong with me ?

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